tater bake

my start sucked and my finish sucked. the middle was pretty good.
i was 5th from last up the start climb. passed a few people and then hung my head low as i tried to climb like i'm capable of for the first part of the course but it just wasn't coming to me. i did eventually work my ass off that lap and it showed as i grabbed onto the train of the lead sport girls by the end of the lap. i knew i'd lose them at the start climb because i had given so much already just to find them. i figured i'd recover a bit and catch them again. and then i decided to eat. i still can't eat on a bike during a race. i even bought a gu bottle but it's on my desk at work. anyway. it was the perfect place to eat had i been able to open it. i tried and tried. couldn't get it open and then a couple girls passed me. wtf. i suck. so i chased with gu packet hanging out of my mouth. i decided one more try to get it open, couldn't, so tucked it back in my shorts as now there definitely wasn't an opportunity to eat it. i had to dig to catch people again. i was cursing myself for awhile. i finally got it open but wasn't able to drink for a few, so i had a gu glob stuck in my throat.
i saw a few sport women which gave me a little bit of rush to grab on. i did. passed a couple but was feeling my efforts. i was tired. i dreaded the start of my last lap. my back was starting to act up a bit. i tried to ignore it, which i could for the most part unless i had to really push, which for me was on the steeper climbs. i made the mistake of thinking that walking up the steep climb there i wouldn't lose much time and i'd be able to stretch my back. sucky move. i wanted a do over.
i knew i'd catch a couple girls on the last sections of singletrack as i had on every lap and would hopefully hold it for the finish... that is UNTIL my cheer pack exploded into my mouth and went in my lungs (i suck at eating on a bike). i felt like i was drowning for a second. i couldn't breath and then i started coughing violently. i had never coughed that hard before... it just kept coming. i couldn't even see i was coughing so hard. after that happened i knew i wouldn't catch anybody. there wasn't enough trail left. it didn't keep me from trying but i was slightly deflated that i was taken out by something so dumb. i would've rather crashed or flatted... i think.
anyway, like i said, sucky start and finish, but the middle was good. i did some cool stuff for myself and learned a few things as well (some of which i learned already).
coming back from so far back in the pack at the start and then catching the lead (i think there were a couple girls still ahead of them but still) was awesome. i felt really good about that. my starts are never good, but they are never that bad as it was today. i wasn't able to hold it after i caught the pack, but am pretty satisfied considering i ride maybe 15 miles a week. i rode more aggressively to pass people than i ever had so i was happy about that as well. i was able to dig a few times on my second and third laps- i just wasn't able to hold it. i didn't finish thinking i could've pushed harder here or there... i gave it my all today. (i finished thinking i'm a moron who needs to learn how to eat on a bike) i'd like to think if i had a good night's sleep on saturday (or even friday) maybe my start would've been better. but at the same time if my start was better i wouldn't of had that feel good moment of catching the train. hopefully some day i'll be able to ride with the train once i've caught it instead of thinking about going to the side of the trail and dying if only for 5 minutes.
i had hoped to hit the top 10 today and missed it by just over 20 seconds.
i'm still coughing from that pack. at least it was easy to open.